January 14, 2011

Wait, wait

So what you're all saying is that horoscopes aren't accurate? Next you'll be saying that fortune cookies aren't written just for me.

Let's face it, guys: somewhere, at some point in your life, you knew some douchebag and/or moron who justified their stupidity and/or douchebaggery by saying something like "oh well it just goes to show how (insert their zodiac sign here) are so (insert adjective here)."

And now you can laugh at them. And wherever they are, they can hear it.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 7:33 AM

January 11, 2011

I'm too poor for snow days

Three inches of snow and this entire city looks like the opening of Twelve Monkeys.

What is happening down here is nothing short of ridiculous and weakens my very faith in the human drive to succeed. The city has eight snowplows. Not an exaggeration--the entire city of Atlanta literally has eight snowplows. In other words, they didn't plow anything when it snowed Sunday. So naturally by Monday the entire road system was a frozen hell after it started to melt in the day and then refreeze at night. Bus service has been canceled since Monday morning and will likely be shut down tomorrow too. I had to walk to my job today (I live about two miles from my office) because there were no salted roads to drive down--and I ended up being only one of three people who made it in.

Two days after 22 inches of snow in New York, I made it to a restaurant to meet up with someone and have lunch and then go back to New Jersey. Two days after three inches of snow fell in Atlanta, there is absolutely no road transportation and a friend just texted me a cell phone photo of the Kroger where the entire remainder of the lunch meat aisle consists of five packages of hot dogs. The government honestly just threw its hands in the air and decided that what this economy really needs right now is for no one to go to work for a week. City officials' plan is literally to wait until it gets warmer on Friday for the snow to melt.

Why they set The Walking Dead in Atlanta I have no idea. No one here has a brain.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 8:08 PM

January 10, 2011

"Tone and Targets"

Latest comic - click here!

The spin from the right on the horrific shootings that happened this weekend are climbing right to the top of the ranks of stupidest things ever said. "Surveyor's symbols?" Really? That is a statement from someone who is so pathologically incapable of admitting fault that they should not just not be voted into office but diagnosed by a doctor as being psychologically unfit to serve in one.

As soon as the shooting happened on Saturday, I made an effort to avoid weblogs as much as possible, because I knew that this spin was going to be all that was happening. For no reason except to make people feel like they still weren't wrong. Wrong about guns, wrong about the violence of the last year of political rhetoric, wrong about insane teabaggers. But no, instead let's pretend that a map with gunsights on it is the same as a movie quote.

For as long as I live I will never understand the lengths some people go to pretend to be stupid to "win" an internet argument.

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Posted by August J. Pollak at 8:23 AM