November 17, 2010

The French have more balls then we'll ever have

This is why I giggle whenever people make stupid lines about the French being weak and inferior:

More than 100 angry Ryanair passengers sat in a dark cabin without food or water for four hours Wednesday, refusing to leave their plane after it was diverted to Belgium, authorities and passengers said.

The passengers, mostly French tourists who were supposed to land near Paris after returning from holidays in Morocco, refused to come out of the aircraft even after the crew had left it at the Liege airport in southern Belgium.


After several hours of negotiations with furious passengers, officials convinced them to leave the plane and wait inside the airport for buses that would take them to their original destination, a firefighter told AFP.

French airline passengers staged an immediate protest after their airline decided to land in a different city. A month ago, the country erupted in riots when the government increased the retirement age. Meanwhile, next week when I fly home for Thanksgiving I get to decide whether I want a carcinogenic laser to save nude photos of my body or a minimum wage non-union security guard to fondle my testicles.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 8:37 AM

November 15, 2010

"Black Friday Extravaganza!"

Latest comic - click here!

Alright, let's talk about how Black Friday is stupid and if you support it you're stupid and the people who invented it are stupid and it's stupid. As someone from a childhood where a struggling mom had to cut holidays short to work a retail job, the CEO of Toys R Us should be arrested for this. Seriously, if you're going to open your store for "post-Thanksgiving sales" on Thanksgiving, why bother waiting until after dinner? It's not like your employees are real people, and besides, people really, really need to camp out in darkness and potentially murder someone so they can save fifty dollars on a television.

America: the nation where a bunch of stores get together, have sales on the same day, and call it a holiday. What did you get Wal-Mart stockholders this year?

For those of you who are looking to purchase respectable goods without missing family gatherings or having to buy a sleeping bag, copies of the new book are always available at a decent price and shipped right to your door without having to step on anyone's neck. Buy your copy of You're Still an A%*hole For Voting For Nader today. I'll be flogging this at least until it's too late to ship out for Christmas, which I imagine will be another three weeks or so.

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Posted by August J. Pollak at 8:47 AM