April 15, 2009

Obamas get dog, Republicans get lots of pussies

Rick Perry is pretending Texas will secede from the Union.

I guess that's a perfect cap to the closing thought about "tea party" day, which is this: a couple thousand bitter, stubborn Republicans gathered around various parts of the country today to bitch about their taxes.

And every single one of them still paid them.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 11:58 PM

An important announcment

If Tweenbots do not make you smile, you do not have a soul.

That is all.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 9:07 PM

What if you had a tea party and none of your imaginary friends came

With today being the big "tea party" day, John Cole brings up my favorite part of these right-wing protests:

One thing we know for sure: there will be lots of fighting over the number of people who show up at the tea parties. Some reporter in Pittsburgh or Cincinnati will estimate there were 30 tea-baggers downtown and Michelle Malkin will find a witness who says there were really 150. Grainy cell phone video will be examined and confused calculations will be made, possibly with the help of Google earth. If the city is within driving distance, we may even find out what kind of countertops the reporter has.

Nothing, of course, will top Michelle Malkin's reportage of the "Gathering of Eagles" protests from two years ago, where a massive media conspiracy, of which her own cameras belonged to, hid a crowd of 30,000 people from any form of recordable media technology currently in existence.

So before the big shindigs start, you heard it here first: there will be crowd count estimates in larger cities of at least ten times the size of anything remotely close to what appears in a photograph or video. But more importantly, before the evening news, someone will declare in a statement that Glenn Reynolds or Michelle Malkin or a handful of other Pajamas Media nitwits will immediately spread across the net without even Googling that the National Park Service gave a crowd count of (insert number here), despite the fact that the National Park Service has refused to give crowd estimates in over ten years.

Don't get me wrong, there's going to be a few protests with a decent crowd. With all the money spent on this "grassroots effort," there'd have to be. Just don't be surprised if you find yourself wondering how some of the photos from the rallies look like they PhotoShopped out the section with Obama giving a speech.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 7:43 AM

April 13, 2009

"Opposite day"

Latest comic - click here!

Yep, conservatives are really claiming an increase in the Pentagon's budget is a "spending cut" because it includes not buying any more fighter planes designed to shoot down aircraft from the air force of a country that no longer even exists. And yep, Glenn Beck really pretended to cover a co-worker in gasoline because he's- well, because he's batshit insane.

Happy Cheap Candy Monday, everyone! It's my favorite day of the year. Buy some crap and join the mailing list.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 12:06 AM

April 12, 2009

Posted by August J. Pollak at 12:22 AM