August 29, 2008

Re: Palin

I'm just going to go ahead and repost in full what I wrote on MetaFilter this morning. And then I'm going to make three month's worth of popcorn because this election be hilarious, yo.

Oh my god, really?


Look, to be fair, I was halfway through a post last night on my own site about how ridiculous I though all the hard-right Freepers/Cornerites/etc. were harping about Palin. She was basically their new Fred Thompson. But I am seriously dumbfounded that they would have been this stupid.

Don't get me wrong, on a PR level this is masterful for McCain. He's killed all the momentum and press coverage about Obama's amazing speech last night. So I really am amazed they think that one shot at gaining the press advantage was worth the most unbelievably inept VP pick I could have possibly imagined.

Forget even among fields of conservatives in general: is anyone from the McCain camp going to make a convincing case that Palin is remotely close to the most qualified woman in the GOP to be a heartbeat away from taking over a guy who turns 72 today and has a history of cancer? She has been governor- for 18 months- of a state with a population smaller than Obama's state senate district in Illinois. Her previous office was the mayor of an Alaskan town with a population smaller than 3,000 people. At the very minimum, Obama has sat in on foreign policy sessions and dealt with national and international issues on the floor of the U.S. Senate. Palin has no foreign policy experience. This is literally one step above giving the slot to the winner of a game show.

So in what I can only perceive as a complete fit of insanity, McCain has decided to destroy with one pick the three talking points he had as an advantage over Obama:

Experience: She has none. Palin is utterly unqualified to be president of the U.S. Senate, let alone the country should anything befall McCain.

Celebrity: She's a former beauty pageant winner who's done multiple cover shoots for fashion and culture magazines and her claim to fame is being the subject of an article titled "America's Hottest Governor." There will be more talk about how she's attractive than her actual policy credentials. Her gender, in light of her utter political weakness, will be seen blatantly- and rightly- as the novelty McCain picked it for. There is no clearer a celebrity pick for McCain than this one.

Moderate Female Voters: Putting aside for a moment that she's outrageously anti-choice, if McCain truly believes that what really appeals to middle-age working-class white women is a younger, prettier, but amazingly less-qualified woman getting the promotion that Hillary Clinton didn't, then I can't really reflect any greater how utterly deaf to the interests of women the Republican Party is.

Jesus tap-dancing Christ. If McCain wanted a former beauty queen with no experience and a criminal investigation on her record I don't know why he didn't just pick his own wife.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 4:09 PM

I believe in miracles

I have refused to believe for quite some time now that the McCain campaign would be generous enough to actually consider Sarah Palin as his running mate, and now everyone's going insane suggesting it might really be her.

Palin is governor of a state with a smaller population than Barack Obama's state senate district in Illinois. She has served less than half a term, her largest elected role before that being mayor of a town of 3,000 people. She's currently being investigated for abusing the power of her office. And this is the person who's going to be projected as ready to lead the United States if a 72-year-old McCain keels over? Alrighty then.

Palin eliminates the greatest talking point the GOP has over Obama- that he's not experienced enough to be president- and suggests that their plan will be pulling in disaffected Hillary Clinton supporters. Which is really a stunning example of how the Republican Party has no understanding of women whatsoever. I'm sure a few Hillary supporters remain upset that their choice didn't make a ticket, but I don't think McCain picking a younger, prettier, but immensly less-qualified woman to get the promotion Hillary didn't is really going to be a choice move for middle-age female voters.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 8:35 AM

August 28, 2008




Oh, and that speech thing. Totally awesome.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 11:32 PM

August 27, 2008

In which I place the entirety of my head inside Joe Biden's ass

I've only lived long enough to experience a handful of Democratic conventions in their full splendor, but a common media narrative that occurs throughout the post-convention campaign and, when the Democrats win (translated: that one time), the ensuing administration, is that of the tension between the president and vice-president. The animosity between Bill Clinton and Al Gore by the end of 2000 is legendary, and you could believably argue that John Kerry and John Edwards very likely haven't even spoken to each other since the last few weeks of 2004. And of course, we're dealing this week with the now completely-embarrassed news media desperately trying to pitch a narrative that Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama want each other kneecapped in the back alley of the Pepsi Arena.

My point is that I find an amazing irony in the continous mantra from both the media and the Hillary Clinton fanatics desperate to knock Obama down that Hillary Clinton was a "necessary" running mate for Obama, and yet here we see the unfathomably unforced Joe Biden on stage after his speech displaying a genuine affection for Obama that has been mutually returned. Obama decided that he needed Biden; Biden didn't insist that Obama needed him. And the collosal difference between those two concepts was clear in the way the two have talked about each other since Saturday.

Biden and Obama have made a clear case that they plan to work with each other filling each other's gaps and strenghening each other's weaknesses, and what makes it so promising is that they appear to actually be telling the truth. It's astounding that after months of screaming how Obama's future would depend on conceding a potential administration based on a complete lack of plausible amicability, people are actually questioning how this ticket- Obama/Biden- that clearly yearns for working together to actually get shit done isn't a better option.

Long story short, if Joe Biden and Barack Obama don't actually like each other, it would require acting skills far beyond any rhetorical abilities ever expressed by either in the whole of their lives. I wonder if the naysayers will give pause later down the road to reflect on how, amazingly, the most believable and comfortable pair of running mates turned out to be the ones that dropped any pretense of necessity or logistics and actually just got along with each other.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 10:59 PM

August 26, 2008

"Poopypants" defeats "doo-doo-heads" on the fifth ballot

The Republicans held a vote on whether or not to officially refer to the Democratic Party by its actual name.

It is going to be awesome when grownups run our country again. Just awesome.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 11:41 PM

No, really, ladies, I just wear the ring for show

Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno.

-John McCain, June 1998

Seriously, I'm actually curious here: does John McCain think all women are idiots, or just the ones who voted for Clinton?

Posted by August J. Pollak at 8:51 AM

Eye on the ball

Shorter dipshit at The Corner: Not that I believe it anyway, but if, and I mean, if, it's true that four guys hopped up on meth were arrested in Denver for trying to murder Barack Obama, it only proves how important it is to not elect people like him.

These are very broken people.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 8:43 AM

August 25, 2008

"Homes in the range"

Latest comic - click here!

McCain has at least seven houses. Possibly ten. And a private jet. And he doesn't remember how many he owns. And his excuse for that is that he was a prisoner of war in Vietnam.

I... really don't think there's anything you can add to that.

Buy some crap. Join the mailing list.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 12:03 AM