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Great moments in bad headlines
Today's Washington Post Express:
Well, I suppose being open about it is a start...
Update: Okay, this one's great too. That many, huh?
Dear Congressional majority
I know this is a very hard and difficult thing for you to all understand, but I think you are very big boys and girls now and you should be told the truth about how the world works and that sometimes, even if it's something you really really don't want to do, you might actually have to impeach someone.
Hug them! Hug them now!
Are you ready to get pumped up, folks? Alright, well it's time for your shit to get knocked right the fuck out.
Via Wonkette, but probably on a whole bunch of other sites, hands-down the greatest blogad I have ever seen in my life.
For the record, I want forty, before I even clicked the link and found it's a website that sells plush oversized stuffed animals that are all the shape of beach balls. Now I'm just euphoric.
No one needed these. That is what makes them beautiful. They are so pointless and awesome that I am just going to cry except knowing they exist makes me so excited I could kill a man with my mind right now.
Look how happy that trendy girl is carrying her perfectly spherical stuffed toy alligator! LOOK AT HER, DAMN YOU!!!!!
Three small bunnies in a carrot! I need to fight someone right now!
Vital update: LOOK AT THIS SHARK. No, I said YOUR mother!
Hurting America
40 minutes into the ABC debate and the questions have been about: will you pick the other as a running mate, Obama's "bitter" quote, Hillary's Bosnia story, and Rev. Wright. That's 40 minutes of a 90-minute debate in which not a single question about anything fucking related to being president has been asked.
We've literally already lost the election, haven't we? I mean, all of us, collectively.
Perhaps we tire of all this
I'm sure there's something relevant about Josh Marshall, of all people, being at the point of analyzing the rhetoric from Clinton strategists and just starting to wonder if they're all on drugs.
Years in the making
I think a lot of people, for a long time, wanted to sit down and just create a comprehensive guide to the most popular right-wing bloggers, and just how stupid they are. But actions speak louder than words, of course. I am beyond pleased to discover that it has finally been done, and it is brilliant.
Personal favorites just because of how mind-scrapingly accurate they are include the prediction for Megan McArdle's next post ("Will renounce Obama when it is revealed that he once laughed at a Richard Pryor routine with anti-Semitic content"), the stupid/evil ratio system, and pretty much the entire entry for Ace of Spades.
Grandma's Bosnian sniper chili
For all my years being obsessed with presidential politics, stupid gaffes like this are always the ones that astound me the most. Seriously, why would you do this? No, it's not exactly on the same level as using government funds to pay for your hookers, but it's a stupid, unnecessary action that literally provides no possible outcome other than egg in the face when something turns up about it. Clearly, McCain himself didn't call anyone up on the phone and say "pull some recepies from the Food Network and claim they're my family's." A web staffer is probably going to be looking for a new job this morning... but a proper campaign hires web staffers who understand that you shouldn't open a candidate up to crap like that. I'm a web staffer at a non-profit and we have to get specific words approved before they can go up.
I sincerely doubt this will damage the McCain campaign, and I honestly hope it doesn't because that would just be another step in the downfall of society. But it will be interesting to see if it has any effect whatsoever on the current attacks on Obama, which are pretty much equal in both irrelevance and the stupidity of said "controversy."
"A torch to bear"
The private jet transporting the torch- yes, really, I couldn't make this shit up if I tried- is doing a fantastic job proving how the Chinese government doesn't care about the lungs of human beings any more than their genitals or whatever else they strap electrodes to.
I imagine a long-winded rant about the utter blasé pointlessness of the Olympics is just cliché at this point so instead I'll just address the silliness of the "torch relay" which just finished its leg in San Fransisco. The mayor is bragging about how he "faked out" protesters by altering the parade route, and even then the torch bearer was surrounded- literally, surrounded- by a cadre of security guards. For some reason, the whole "sending the symbol of universal peace and fair play" gets diminished when you have to hide it from your own citizens and then threaten to beat them with batons if they go near it.