February 8, 2008

Fred Thompson endorses McCain

The savior of conservatism who would sweep the primaries.

As expected, the Freepers are reacting to this much the way the natives reacted to Sean Connery bleeding in the last ten minutes of The Man Who Would Be King. It's wonderful.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 10:31 PM

Some days I just love my job

This e-mail just arrived in my inbox. It is reprinted below, verbatim, in its entirety.

I have good reason to believe the government conservatives and liberals alike are covering up the existence of bigfoot or "susquatch" as sometimes it is known. Please say something about this on your blogs guys, it's vary important and your lifes may depend on it when the bigfoots come out of hiding. PLEASE TELL YOUR READERS ABOUT BIGFOOT, IT'S IMPORTANT AND THEY NEED TO KNOW AND YOU ALL REACH LARGE AUDIANCES.

PLEASE DO THIS FOR ME AND FOR EVERYONE. I can give you evedance if you need

Posted by August J. Pollak at 4:52 PM

Mitt Reagan

Well, Romney's out. It's kind of amazing how the right wing did a complete 180 on him in the last few weeks- while magical fantasy candidates Fred Thompson and Duncan Hunter were around, Romney was one-third of "Rudy McRomney-" the triumvirate of GOP candidates that no way, no how would the party base allow to be their standard-bearer. In fact, they used this term at last year's CPAC- the same conference where yesterday Laura Ingraham all but fellated Romney to a cheering crown of right-wingers.

Amazingly, Romney's strategy is a clever one here- he's realized that if McCain is as bad for the GOP as they all claim it will be (personally, I don't, but moving on), then he has the ability to make himself the 1976 version of Ronald Reagan- the guy who came in second in the primary, bowed out gracefully, and then sat back for four years as everyone spread the idea that they really picked the wrong guy. Reagan, likewise, was a former liberal-leaning governor from a solidly blue state, who had his great come-to-Jesus moment just when it was needed.

Romney is young, and McCain is old- the rumors are already flying that he's only going to last one term. And if McCain makes Huckabee his VP nod, who'd then get to run for president in 2012, he'll have all the weaknesses and dislikes from the right as he does today. Romney's positioning himself as the waiting savior of the Republican party, and thanks to the sudden turnaround from the right wing in only a year, he'll probably succeed at it.

There's a lot of "darkest before the sunrise" thinking from the right wing these days, and I think a lot of right-wingers are starting to hope that Hillary just wins the White House so they have a four-year hate to prepare the second coming of Saint Ronnie. Over the last few days, Romney has leapt to the front of the pack of potential messiahs. I don't think he's too upset about that. I, of course, am scared shitless.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 8:03 AM

February 7, 2008

"Prove to me that you're no fool, walk across my swimming pool..."

Big Tent Democrat, née Armando, née Herod from Jesus Christ Superstar.

Let me get this out of the way first - given Hillary Clinton's money woes, Barack Obama would be crazy to agree to once a week debates with Hillary Clinton. He is coldly and remorselessly pressing his money advantage by NOT debating her. I would think less of him if he did agree to debate once a week.

But this does underscore a fact that is always glossed over if not simply falsely spoken about - Barack Obama is a run of the mill politician in his tactics. There is no "new" politics here. Even worse, his "unity schtick" is not good for the Democratic Party and Dem values. It may be good for the Party of Obama, but that remains to be seen [...]

That is a pol being a pol. And good for Obama. But please, no more about how he is transcending the usual politics.

He refuses to debate as Hillary demands it! Politics as usual! WHERE IS YOUR CHRIST NOW, OBAMA SUPPORTERS?

Later, BTD demands that Barack Obama feed the entire Hillary Clinton staff with a single loaf of bread.

Update: by the way, yes, I will admit that I've suddenly taken a overly-attentive interest in the increasingly-rabid anti-Obama postings on TalkLeft. Here's the open offer on Armando- I'll stop pointing out how juvenile and deranged these posts of his are starting to become when he stops acting like the world's most literate ten-year-old.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 11:00 AM

Find > Replace All

Ezra's post on why Jim Webb shouldn't (and won't) be a VP pick is a must-read for anyone who's still suggesting that a "unity" ticket between Clinton and Obama should/will solve all our problems.

Both Clinton and Obama are very popular Senators with the potential to have very powerful careers in Congress. As vice-president to the other, they would both be completely and utterly useless politically and have no political future save the chance of being elected president in eight years. The same goes for any offer of a cabinet spot- usually, those are positions for people at the end of their career, not the beginning.

Basically, everything Ezra says about Webb applies to Obama, and applies to Hillary with only a slight change. If Obama loses the primaries, there's no reason for him to give up a chance to wait and be the presumptive candidate in four or eight years. If Hillary loses them, there's no reason for her to not hold tight in the Senate and work to eventually replace Harry Reid as Majority Leader.

Once again: whoever you're rooting for to be the candidate, go right ahead. Just give up the idea there's going to be a Clinton/Obama or Obama/Clinton ticket. Neither of them is stupid enough to give up their future to get the other elected.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 9:35 AM

February 6, 2008

Jonah receives unprecedented SECOND Pulitzer nomination

For reals, yo.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 12:38 AM

And there you have it

Kos: "Huge Night for Obama."

TalkLeft: "Obama's Bad Night."

Allllllrighty then.

Look, if I had to pick a "winner" here, I think it's a bit idealistic to say it was a "huge win" for Obama when he didn't win in California or Massachusetts, and of course when Hillary appears to ultimately be winning more delegates out of the night than him. But I think when Obama wins 14 out of 22 states and is now outraising her 3-1, to say it was a "bad night" for him means, umm... that you're on crack.

Oh, and it turns out the obnoxious douchebag on Talking Points Memo is just a garden-variety racist. Good job promoting the Hillary message there, chief.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 12:30 AM

February 5, 2008

Hillary, protect me from your followers

The pro-Hillary pundit reaction to Michelle Obama is really the most striking example of why I'm worried that if Hillary wins the nomination, we're totally screwed. Pretending that most people aren't very motivated to campaign for Hillary is a real act of denial- blaming Obama (or rather Obama's wife of all people) for having the audacity to be a more exciting candidate than Hillary really misses the big problem. Is the idea that someone who totally and fervently supports the person that you just spent several months and millions of dollars trying to destroy not necessarily immediately ready to come around and support you really an outrageous statement?

If you're a Hillary backer, it is. It's clear that, perhaps latent from a year back or so when she was the "inevitable" candidate, a lot of Clinton's supporters still believe that Democrats/progressives are somehow obligated to vote for Hillary, and as a result it doesn't make any difference how mean, nasty, or berating to Obama supporters they are.

In simpler terms, I'm noticing that Hillary supporters act a lot more like sports fans than political activists, in that they seem only to care about taunting and bragging that their candidate is "winning" as if Hillary winning the nomination automatically makes her president. The problem is that she is going into this with half the country already hating her, combined with going up against John McCain, who quite honestly is the most well-liked Republican candidate we'll see in a presidential race since Ronald Reagan.

In even simpler terms, Hillary's supporters really seem to be forgetting the actual election is in November. That Hillary is the establishment candidate makes it much more difficult for Hillary supporters to motivate Obama supporters to come around than vice-versa. I'm sorry if they want to whine about that being "unfair" but, well, tough shit. They need to learn pretty much yesterday that being complete assholes to Obama supporters isn't going to be a great strategy in motivating them to vote after the primaries are over.

I'm 100% serious here- Hillary Clinton herself hasn't really said or done anything that would across-the-board make me refuse to vote for her. This obnoxious douchebag on Talking Points Memo trolling Obama supporters makes me want to refuse to vote for Hillary for any reason at all. If Hillary's people are fine with that attitude, they should get used to the idea that she's never going to be elected president.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 10:31 AM

February 4, 2008

"Jonah's Pulitzer"

Latest comic - click here!

I think claiming you've been nominated for a Pulitzer (or in the case of non-literary right-wing pundits like Rush Limbaugh, a Nobel Prize) should officially be declared the Godwin's Law of right-wing hackdom: once you've stooped to that level of sad, desperate attention-grabbing, any remote attempt at legitimacy you're grasping for should automatically be ignored.

Yes, Jonah Goldberg is actually bragging about this, and yes, Jonah Goldberg is actually quite full of horsecrap. Jonah's "nomination" comes in the form of his syndicate, Tribune Media Services, filling out an application for his published articles... something that a syndicate often does for almost all of their popular writers. This can also be done by, well, anyone. Case in point: every cartoonist I know, including myself, who also fill out the forms and "nominate" themselves for the award.

Jonah's "nomination" is about as legitimate a claim as bragging that he was Time's Person of the Year in 2006. This has not stopped multiple mentions on Goldberg's The Corner blog, links from Instapundit, but most enjoyable (in a kind of watching-a-car-wreck kind of way) repeated online orgasms from this blog you've never heard of, written by some blogger who admits that he already knows Goldberg's nomination is bogus but likes saying it over and over again, much the same way a second-grader like calling the foreign kid a racist nickname because it's funny to see how angry it gets him. It's one of those rare, beautiful treats when you encounter someone who is not only digging themselves deeper into a hole of pathetic right-wing trolling, but actually thinks they're winning their magical fight against no one in particular when they do it. Please, no one tell him.

Buy some crap and join the list.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 6:58 AM