Frequently Asked Questions about the 2006 George W. Bush Dead Kitten Survey

Are you serious, you sick (expletive deleted)?

Yes and no. Obviously this is satirical in nature, but at the same time I want to present this question as honestly as possible. While the issue is of course bizarre and outrageous, everything I say in the survey I e-mailed out is genuine, and I would honestly love to hear an honest response from the people I reached out to how they would react to Bush killing a kitten with a hammer.

Why do you hate cats, you sick (expletive deleted)?

I don't hate cats; I love cats! They're adorable! Haven't you read this site or my cartoons? In fact, that's the point of the premise: right-wingers support Bush ordering torture; they support him wiretapping Americans without a warrant. I wanted to come up with an idea of something that I assumed would be considered by almost everyone as horrible and unforgivable to test the actual limits of seemingly-unwavering support for President Bush.

Why are you so obsessed with describing the death of the kittens in such detail, you sick (expletive deleted)?

See previous answer. That's the point. For the record, I think hurting animals is horrible, and I am an active supporter of the ASPCA. I was worried that some respondents would simply assume that Bush "killing a kitten" would mean some scenario that would let them weasel out of actually contemplating such a disturbing act, hence the need for the detail.

Well here are my answers then, you stupid liberal (expletive deleted).

Unfortunately, I am not tallying or printing unsolicited responses to the survey e-mail. I am worried some right-wing bloggers will encourage a massive spamming campaign that, aside from being annoying and time-consuming, will taint the results. As I said before, despite the sarcasm I'm taking the survey itself seriously.

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