December 13, 2007

Goddamit, science

Well, finally. I was wondering when they were going to get around to making WHY DID YOU DO THIS?

Posted by August J. Pollak at 8:17 AM

December 12, 2007

Pope Catholic; status of hat size to follow

If this in any way surprised you, even in the slightest, then you are legally too stupid to have the required advanced cerebral mechanisms necessary to not be classified as a species of chimp.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 8:08 PM

BFF

Just a side note, and I'm sure someone else might have noticed this already, but does anyone else find it increasingly weird how John McCain uses the word "friend" as an epithet? He keeps referring to "our Democrat friends" and calling someone "my friend" whenever he's pissed off at them. Every time he says it I get the feeling that a psychologist taught him to employ that response device to stave off his natural impuse to just leap at someone and choke them to death.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 3:27 PM

The most wonderful viewing experience of the holiday season

A reminder that 2:00 PM EST will be the Iowa Republican debate.

Featuring ALAN KEYES!

I. Have. Popcorn. C-SPAN video feed hyeah.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 1:31 PM

December 11, 2007

Pods which are cast

There's a live podcast tonight at 9:00 PM EST of the Bob Garfield show "Comcast Must Die," featuring music by long time reader Shawn Struck. I imagine you can guess what the main topic of a show called "Comcast Must Die" is about.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 1:44 PM

Gun control in action: take that, liberals!

Jay Tea, he of permanent dibs on the front seat of the short bus that is Oliver's comments section, is ironically bragging about the parishoner who took down a crazed gunman at the New Life Church, heroically preventing additional deaths.

Jay Tea mocks the story by sarcastically saying a "gun nut kills man in church with concealed handgun." See, the joke is that the person wasn't a gun nut, she was a heroic, rational, normal human being.

Who was, you know, also a former police officer. Oh, and had previous gun training. Also, she had a licensed and registered firearm. And the church gave her permission to carry it in the building. Because she was volunteering to use her licensed, regulated, trained gun experience to act as a guard at the church.

So, you know, that really sticks a thumb in the eyes of all those gun-control wussy liberals, the way, you know... gun control policies worked magnificently in this situation. A member of a well-regulated militia with proper firearms training serving her specific capacity as an armed guard at the behest of the locale she attended? Take that, sensible gun policy!

Christ, Oliver. Do you get a federal grant for being this guy's foster parent?

Posted by August J. Pollak at 11:03 AM

Klein's Theorum

In honor of Ezra's new blog location, it's time once again to invoke his most lasting contribution to analytical theory:

Klein's Theorum

Powerline, we must begin to understand, has no fucking idea what they're talking about at any given moment.

Does the theorum hold? Why, yes. Yes it does.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 9:10 AM

December 10, 2007

"Michael Hayden is a terrible liar"

Latest comic - click here!

See, the joke is that the head of the CIA is actually lying about people under his command torturing people. Isn't that hilarious?

I have little to add about Michael Hayden (other than that he still looks way too much like Kurtwood Smith) short of believing wholeheartedly that this could easily be one of the stupidest lines of bullshit ever uttered by someone in the Bush administration. Skipping for a fact that feigning sensitivity about leaking information on CIA agents sort of had that bridge burned about two years ago, for us to believe that the only way to protect the identities of CIA agents (who, again, I remind you, were on tape torturing people) is to completely destroy the tapes. And why should we be able to, anyway? I mean, it's not like keeping them would then be exactly the evidence required to point out that people are performing torture.

Intelligence... I believe it is supposed to be central to this job. Silly me.

A final reminder about buying some crap: today is the last day you can order books and be guaranteed standard shipping before Christmas. You get another week if you're willing to pay extra for priority shipping. So please, buy some crap. And buy some today.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 12:05 AM