July 14, 2007

Comedy night at the Lost & Found

If you haven't read the Washington City Paper's expose on Late Night Shots yet, you're missing one of our generation's finest moments of pampered, racist, right-wing rich kids being outraged over the audacity of a news outlet to point out that they actually post public records of how horrible they are. Get off your butts, folks.

Those of you who don't live in DC are actually privileged to get to se the online article, because the comments left by LNS members are, to be blunt, comedy gold. These are treasures the peons of the District cherish, and shall cherish for days to come.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 4:17 PM

July 12, 2007

American Taliban

Right-wing Christian "activists" continue to spread Jesus' message of tolerance.

Assholes.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 4:08 PM

Badger badger badger badger badger badger

If I knew I would be allowed to say "we can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area" as a legitimate function of my duty, I might actually have found a reason to join the army.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 3:51 PM

Bush Nukem Forever

Iraq 2.0 remains in development hell.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 9:22 AM

July 11, 2007

Soulless Joe

So just so we're clear: Joe Lieberman thinks a Supreme Court candidate he personally opposed deserved a vote in the Senate, but a bill making sure American troops are allowed to rest after serving a combat tour doesn't.

This is a truly moralless human being.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 5:30 PM

July 10, 2007

I hear some of them make more than their husbands too... horrors!

Dana catches David Brooks in a fine display of what I call Googlestupid- the act of looking like a complete idiot by saying something you could have realized was completely wrong by searching the internet for less than five minutes.

In today's example, Brooks devotes a column to chastizing what he sees as a society-crumbling message of avoiding marriage before 30 forwarded by the lyrics of two female pop musicians... who are both, of course, in their 20's and happily married. Oops.

Conservatives tend to be heavily Googlestupid when it comes to attacking the "Hollywood left," which I find ironic given celebrities are really the easiest people on the planet to get basic biographical information about. That Brooks obviously hasn't a clue what he's talking about regarding pop culture and the societal passions of 20-something women isn't much of a shock here, but to think he couldn't have even been bothered to get an intern to look up What The Kids Are Listening To These Days is just plain lazy.

Now, a column like this isn't really necessary to begin with, but if for some reason a column on how female celebrities are delivering anti-family messages to America's young women just had to be written, you'd think subjects like the twice-divorced Britney Spears, the divorced Jessica Simpson, and the bordering-her-own-name-being-an-adjective Paris Hilton would be much richer and understandable targets. Yet those three are either products of Red State America or the top-1% entitlement class as opposed to Northern pop stars with ties to left-wing political causes. Funny how Brooks (or, rather, his shoddy intern) just looks up starlets who happen to embody the political views contrary to his own to attack on the moral values front.

New week's Brooks column: why all the yelling? That's not ladylike!

Posted by August J. Pollak at 3:42 PM

Now THAT's some quick thinking

So you've accidentally installed 52 granite penises in a busy intersection. What's the solution? Prince Alberts!

Some residents of Keizer, Ore., complain cement posts designed to protect pedestrians closely resemble phallic symbols.

There have been multiple complaints to the city that the 52 posts installed at a busy intersection to guard pedestrians from cars resemble male genitalia, KATU-TV, Portland, Ore., reported Monday.

"I can't disagree with that," said City Manager Chris Eppley. "They certainly did not turn out the way we anticipated."

Eppley said the posts, which were ordered from a catalog, looked different on paper.

"They're a standard style," Eppley said. "I think in the right context they look fine. They just happened not to (look fine) here."

Eppley said the city is looking to outfit the posts with metal collars and connecting chains to change their appearance. He said the posts will be removed if they still appear phallic.

I have a feeling they will. I have a feeling no one admit to why they know that.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 9:30 AM

War and suffering and oh screw that awwwwwwwwww

Happy 2nd to Butterstick. You stupid, stupid, stupid animal.

 

Posted by August J. Pollak at 8:56 AM

July 9, 2007

"Times and timing"

Latest comic - click here!

Included in my goodie bag from the AAEC convention was a massive sinus cold, so I'm afraid I have to be brief since my entire is body is dying starting with the nasal passages. But while I'm sure it's gonna get me letters, I couldn't let this morning's big piece from the Times go by.

John Edwards excepted, I seem to keep missing the parts of the speeched where these Monday208 morning bastions of good ideas have mentioned how utterly, pathetically, criminally wrong telling us all how stupid we were for not wanting to get a few thousand Americans and a few hundred thousand Iraqi civilians killed was. I'm not saying you're not allowed to change your mind, but I would think an apology is sort of mandatory when four-digit casualty counts are involved.

Buy some crap and join the list.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 12:31 AM