July 6, 2007

Transformers

Well, that was certainly ridiculous. I went and saw it with Masheka Wood and Keith Knight last night, and I had one of those "thought of while brushing my teeth the next morning" kind of moments, so some basic thoughts, which are totally full of movie spoilers. You've been warned.

First of all, I never imagined I see a movie where I thought John Tutturo was just a waste of a character who had no reason being in a movie. He appeared in two scenes, neither of which were needed, and one of which basically destroyed all the respect of his career in about five minutes. And we're talking about a movie that also has Jon Voight.

Speaking of which, Jon Voight? Awesome. Believe it or not, Jon Voight plays Generic Political Guy Character #4 in a way that you actually like and is somewhat badass. Pretty much the only redeeming human character in the movie. What's-His-Name is a decent actor and actually cared about playing the part, and while yes, What's-Her-Name is hot, I really hate the entire genre of "we'll see this movie 'cuz a hot girl's in it" dorks. I am not really living in an age where it's hard to see hot naked people if I want to. I don't need to pay ten bucks to see it.

Megatron, in all his stupid, awful, pointy sharp ridiculousness, was only the third worst part of the movie. The gold and silver go to these:

Second-worst moment of the movie: the final shot. Okay, so we pan out to a stoic Optimus Prime with all the other Autobots reflecting on how they're staying on earth, hiding and watching. Apparently, as the scene opened to show, they are all standing on a hill while What's-His-Name is porking What's-Her-Name on the hood of what we just established is in fact a sentient life form from another planet. I was really hoping that I wasn't the only one creeped out by the idea that the Autobots' idea of romance is letting teenagers fuck each other on top of them.

Worst moment of the movie: Jazz. I almost slid under my seat embarassed, sitting between Keith and Masheka, watching as a car proceeded to transform into a robot, begin speaking in a black rapper urban dialect, and then- I shit you not- start breakdancing. The only way- the only possible way- it could have been more stereotypically offensive was if Jazz then proceeded to grab a mailbox and have it transform into his robotic fried chicken bucket. Two hours later, Megatron kills him. I really hope you let that sink in. This is a movie where all the main characters are robots, and the producers found a way to kill the black guy.

Update: Just adding so you don't think all I do is see crappy movies, I of course saw SiCKO last week. But honestly, if you really thought I'd have anything to say on it that hasn't been said by everyone who already said it, you're new to the world of progressive blogging. Just take your right-wing grandpa and see if he's still fine with his prescription plan afterwards. I'm guessing making them watch it is far more effective than reading me telling you about it. And it doesn't have break-dancing robots.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 8:03 PM

July 4, 2007

Talking comix during my breaks between talking comics

I'll be popping up at ComixTalk (formerly Comixpedia) during the remainder of this week, so please stop by.

Also, did I mention we have an event on Saturday? Wasn't sure if I mentioned that or not.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 9:35 AM

July 3, 2007

Scoot-free

That Scooter Libby won't serve a day in jail wasn't really a major surprise to me. That said, I can't imagine a more infurating way Bush could have pulled this off.

I'm surprised few pundits, especially the angered left-wing ones, aren't pointing out the logic behind yet another one of Bush's infamous half-effort maneuvers: commuting Libby's sentence as opposed to pardoning him means he's still on probation. According to the original sentence, the probation period is two years, just long enough to have to plead the Fifth though the remainder of the Bush administration. Once that's taken care of, Libby needn't worry about any pesky fines- rest assured, he'll get his full pardon on January 19, 2009.

Ultimately, the message Bush left was clear- he doesn't actually think Libby's innocent. In fact, in his statement he even acknowledged Libby was guilty. But what matters to Bush and his cronies is that you can break whatever laws you want; it's just not fair to actually have to go to jail for them. Let's hope Democrats can hammer that message in over and over again: Bush doesn't think people who break the law for him should go to jail.

Of course, this is standard operating procedure for right-wingers at this point, who are now none too subtle in expressing their direct hatred for the very existence of a government. Check any right-wing paper or blog right now and you'll see the usual gloating about how Republicans are obstructing anything from passing in Congress, forcing whatever they want through the Supreme Court, and now, how awesome it it that they've "tweaked" the liberals by letting a Bushie get away with assisted treason. If there was any sense in the major campaigns, the Democratic talking point for 2008 should be "Vote Democrat 2008: because Republicans actually hate you."

Posted by August J. Pollak at 9:01 AM

July 2, 2007

Cartoonapalooza(s)

Posting will be light this week, as I'll be spending most of it at the annual AAEC convention here in lovely, sweltering Washington D.C. If you enjoy 90-degree swampland as much as I do, then you should be down here celebrating the Fourth.

The convention's kicking off tomorrow night with the special panel "Fireworks in Pen and Ink" featuring Ted Rall, Tom Toles, Mike Luckovich, Mike Peters, Rob Rogers, Jack Ohman, Ruben Bolling, Ann Telnaes, Keith Knight and Mark Fiore.

Time: 6:30 PM.
Location: Renaissance Mayflower Hotel, 1127 Connecticut Avenue NW, Washington DC 20036
Tickets: $25 in advance/$35 at door (PayPal available
http://editorialcartoonists.com/cartoonapalooza.cfm)
Proceeds from this event will go to support Newspapers In Education's "Cartoons for the Classroom" program.

And then, of course, on Saturday, there's CWA's event. I can't really emphasize how important it is to us for you to get your butts over there if you're in the area. We really want/ned as many people as possible to show up so we can prove what funny and awesome cartoonists we are. Mikhaela has a new book and an easily-depressed cat to feed.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 10:16 PM

"The Crazy Man book tour"

Latest comic - click here!

Oh, Crazy Man. What is it about your character that makes you so... recurring?

I missed Crazy Man almost as much as I didn't miss Ann Coulter. But it's so amusing how she follows her standard formula, isn't it? She goes on, piddles across the host's leg, and then writes some bitchy article a week later about how awful the network was for letting her on the air. I understand the dominatrix jokes with her are beyond outdated, but seriously, Gregory- she's not sending you flowers after the night of bondage play.

Buy some crap and join the list.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 12:01 AM