April 19, 2007

APE

That's it for me this week, folks. Please make sure to stop by and visit me and buy some crap in San Francisco!



Cartoonists With Attitude in San Francisco!

The Cartoonists With Attitude gang will be out in full force in San Francisco this April 21-22 for the Alternative Press Expo (APE). Confirmed CWAers:

And in case you weren't aware, you should really read our group blog (also available as an RSS feed or LiveJournal feed) if you want to get all our blogs and most of our cartoons in one convenient place. We also have a not-so-frequently updated Cartoonists With Attitude MySpace page if you want to be our friend.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 10:16 PM

High-carg diet

I'd like to talk for a few moments on the greatness of cargo pants.

I had this great pair of cargo pants that lasted me at least a few years. They weren't really spectacular or anything; I think they were just some run-of-the-mill Arizona Jeans brand you could pick up at any JC Penny, but by god they were the best pants I ever wore in my life. I nicknamed them my Ron Pants because they looked- in kid you not- exactly like the pants Ron Stoppable on the cartoon Kim Possible wears. Same color and pocket location and everything. I would have had the perfect Halloween costume if I had a really cute redhead to go to parties with me, although I guess that probably would be a solution to a lot of my other problems in life as well. But I'm straying from the issue at hand now; that issue being cargo pants.

They're awesome.

My Ron Pants finally failed on me last month, after years of valuable service. The fabric had just worn out so much in places repairs could not handle. I knew I was going to spend two straight days of standing at a table for eight hours, so I had to get new cargo pants STAT. This was as much a priority as getting my new booklet of strips ready on time.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to actually get cargo pants? I had no idea that people just don't want to sell them. The Macy's at Pentagon City- which, mind you, is a four-story department store- had not a single brand in their store that sold cargo pants. They had tons of cargo shorts, but cargo shorts are not cargo pants. Cargo shorts are for rich white college preppies who wear those goddamn sweater things around their necks while wearing SHORTS, for crap's sakes, you're on the BEACH, ASSBLANKET, and their popped collars that are so damned awful there are actually bars here in DC that ban them and god bless them for that.

But then, as if it was a sign, I saw a clearance rack, which had a very small amount of cargo pants hanging there. Unfortunately, we're rapidly entering a world where clothing manufacturers think the average male is the lead singer for the Black Crowes and as such the largest pants sizes are something like L-30/W-carbon atom. I tried to convey this to a store employee when asking if they had additional stock. Which is a very stupid thing to ask about clearance items, but cargo pants make a man do crazy things. "Well, this brand tends to make cargo pants with a looser cut," says nice employee lady. "Might be worth a try to see if one of the smaller sizes fit."

Now, I don't hold much faith in statements like that. More often than not, when a pair of pants says you won't fit in 'em, you won't fit in 'em. Pants that are too tight are, quite literally, a huge pain in the nuts. We are in need of just a slightly larger size. I will not be sharing clothes with Kate Moss any time soon. I've got me some child-bearing hips, is the point I'm getting at here. But I figured, what the hell, why not take these two-sizes-too-small ones here and see just how much more room I need. And you know what? Both pairs I tried fit perfectly. This would not happen for any other form of pants. It is a property that is inherent specifically in cargo pants.

So I must continue to preach the gospel of these wonderous pieces of lower body wear. I'm not even getting into the whole "they have lots of big pockets to hold yer stuff!" element of the equation, which in itself could shape worlds. I just continue to admire and adore the fact that I can spend the day secure in the knowledge that I donned that morning a garment that will provide a full day of comfort and threaten no chaffing, tightness, or adjustment-requiring stress on the waist and/or junk. That is the greatness of the cargo pant. We just live it its world. And its extraordinarily loose-fitting comfort cut.

So please, come visit me at APE this weekend to check out my comics and my sweet, sweet cargo pants. I'll be the one at the CWA table feeling just groovy.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 10:16 AM

Nazi robot attack!

This is so awesome I just threw a car across the street.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 9:11 AM

April 18, 2007

Know Team Venture!

Dave Weigel, the lucky bastard, gets to interview Jackson Publick about The Venture Bros. and the season 2 DVD.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 9:18 AM

April 17, 2007

Goodling rewarded for threatening to hold breath until turning blue

I really don't get this at all. Monica Goodling doesn't deserve immunity, and to grant it to her is to reward a blatantly partisan mocking of basic legal procedure.

You don't get to plead the fifth because, according to your lawyer, you plan in advance on lying on the stand. Goodling's also since resigned, meaning there's no DOJ or White House right to say she can't testify. Finally, immunity doesn't protect you from a later perjury charge, which was her own excuse for not testifying to begin with.

Goodling's refusing to testify because she thinks she has the right to not answer questions on the grounds that a Democrat is asking them. She doesn't. Throw her in jail if she continues to think she does.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 12:16 PM

VT

I guess it goes without saying there's not much I can really add about how unspeakably awful what happened down in Virginia was. I remember when I was a senior in high school, about two months from graduation, when the news broke about the Columbine massacre. I couldn't imagine how the world just got so messed up then, I still don't today, and as such I don't see myself understanding this eight years from now.

The part of this I really do find the most truly, unfathomably disgusting are the people who are already, much as they did following the 9/11 attacks, declaring a kneejerk declaration that this all wouldn't have been a problem if everyone on the VT campus was allowed to carry a gun. I truly fail to understand how people with the motor skills required to speak and type can actually believe something like that. If you want to debate gun control, by all means. But to suggest that there would be no potential complications to a situation where a madman with a gun was running around, and everyone else also had guns and knew nothing about the situation except they should kill whoever they see with a gun, is a failure of understanding of the human condition at its highest level. It's not an assault on the Second Amendment to suggest our militia, whatever your definition you think that means, isn't being that well-regulated these days.

As Duncan noted already, there is nothing we can do to stop people who want to kill people from killing people if they really, really want to kill people. What we have to do is find out why people want to kill people and try to help them not want to. If that's naive and simplistic, I'd rather be naive and simplistic with hope for the future than naive and simplistic with a paranoia-induced terror requiring the purchase of as many devices to kill people as possible.

Update: John Cole, continuing to slip into his unqiue niche angle of the conservative blogger who isn't insane, violates standard right-wing debate protocol and dares to incorporate factual evidence and real-world experience into a relevant societal situation. I'm sure he's being banned from RedState as I type this.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 11:53 AM

April 16, 2007

"Internet argument!"

Latest comic - click here!

After all the crap over the last few weeks from Don Imus to Alberto Gonzales this was one that was a long time coming. I had a whole bunch of these rolling around in my head and I went through a lot of tries finding a way to get them into a small handful of panels. But then I realized I had just too many, and since there's not going to be a comic next week because I'll still be recovering from a trip to the West Coast, I figured why not bust out the old school giant-size comic. Thus, nine beautiful panels of generic weblog routine for your enjoyment. Please, forward to friends and co-workers and editors of your favorite website and/or local alternative news publication. I have no shame.

Speaking of no shame, as mentioned above I'll be at the Alternative Press Expo next weekend, for my first (and looking at the current schedule, only) West Coast excursion, subjugating all that I am and can be at the alter of hope you will purchase many of my fine quality self-Xeroxed booklets of strips. A brand new one- the first collection of "Some Guy With a Website" strips, will be debuting at APE. It's 18 of the most recent cartoons and it's called Live from Senior Bueno's Taco Hut. I'm hoping I won't actually have any copies left after APE but if I do they'll be available on the merchandise page next week.

If you're in San Francisco next weekend, please make sure to come by and visit me and the rest of CWA at our booth. It is the grandest and most elborate request to buy some crap to date.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 9:28 AM