November 9, 2006

Closed for renovations

As I noted the other day, voting George Allen the hell out of office was one of my last acts as a resident of the lovely Commonwealth of Virginia. I'll be spending the three-day weekend moving all my stuff to my new place in Washington, DC.

In the infinite wisdom that is reflected daily in this blog's numerous typos, I decided I'd have plenty of time on Sunday, after I've moved, to get Monday's strip done. So, keeping in mind I'm a moron, expect little to no posting until then.

Enjoy your extended weekend, folks.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 6:38 PM


I heard this from some people, but didn't bother to check until just now.

This is the FEC's official certified election results for the 2000 Connecticut Senate race.

This is CNN's results page for Tuesday with 100% of precincts counted. Notice anything?

That's right: if CNN's numbers are certified as accurate, then Joe Lieberman's main opponents for both 2000 and 2006 recieved the exact same number of votes.

This is in no way any suggestion of voter problems or irregularity or something like that. It's just a really, really fascinating factoid.

Or not. I mean, you could have had a really good bagel this morning or something; that might be interesting too. Whatev.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 10:43 AM

2008: It begins

Can you feel the Vilsackmentum?

Me neither. This is like saying Jim from Accounting has announced.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 9:01 AM

November 8, 2006

Webb wins, Democrats take the Senate

Now we kill that fucking band.

Wow, I pulled that one out of nowhere, didn't I?
Posted by August J. Pollak at 9:59 PM

Wait, what?

Bush at his presser just said he hadn't announced the resignation of Rumsfeld until now because he "hadn't had time to talk to Rumsfeld and Gates" yet.

So, umm... exactly when between his claim five days ago that Rumsfeld was here to stay through 2008 and now did he have this "talk?" When he was travelling state-to-state campaigning? Over brunch an hour ago?

Or, and perhaps the media might ask this... Bush was simply lying on the campaign trail to avoid the known conclusion that Rumsfeld would go after the election?

Update: ThinkProgress helps point this out with a little less subtlety. The President lied. About the man in charge of over 130,000 troops in Iraq. To win a couple of seats in Congress. Nice.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 1:16 PM

So it goes

Well, I'm exhausted and need to go to bed. There's an uptick for Webb, which means there will still be a recount but perhaps in the Democrat's favor. But for what I se projected right now, we've inarguably won. Republicans and the crowd can brag tomorrow about hate bill being passed that will be ignored by the time our children reach the age to live past this generation's bigotry, or perhaps keeping a Senate by the skin of the teeth they spewed racist hate through to kep Tennesse Republican, but the current board says over 30 seats are going to go Dem. And little to no blue seats are going red. That's a massacre, and right-wingers know it.

I had a lot of co-workers who busted their asses today getting out the vote in Virginia, and I'm proud of them. I'm proud of South Dakota telling draconian abortion bans to piss off, and I'm proud of the states that demanded an increase in a minimum wage. And I'm proud of what Speaker Pelosi plans to do in her first 100 hours. May I sleep well tonight and make those 100 hours approach even quicker.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 12:32 AM

Dear Matt Drudge

Figure out where Nancy Pelosi is yet, dipshit?

Posted by August J. Pollak at 12:00 AM

November 7, 2006

Sweet Jesus

With 97.67 of Virginia precincts reporting, Jim Webb is down... by 163 votes. In other words, by defaut this is going to an automatic recount.

If McCaskill wins in MO and Tester wins in Montana, then it might be a month before we know who controls the Senate.

God, does America know how to have an election or what?

Posted by August J. Pollak at 11:51 PM

Dear Free Republic

You can shut up about Diane Irey now. Kthxbye

Posted by August J. Pollak at 11:39 PM


I'm not going to have much to say on this, so let's just hope that everyone who wants to vote can, everyone who can vote will, and everyone who will vote wants to. I'll be reporting on some goings-on during the day over at Campus Progress, but tonight I'll be gathering with a whole mess of DC elitists as is our heathen Soros-funded wont and observing the results over pizza and beverages. If something amazing happens, like Joe Lieberman explodes or something, I'll jump in.

As I noted before, I think the results are going to come a lot faster than expected. Mainly, Virginia closes first in the nation, at 7:00 PM EST, and pretty much the outcome of that one is going to be a huge indicator of the evening. I'm moving to a new house in DC next weekend, so I'm very proud that one of my last acts as a resident of Virginia will be to cast votes against the Hate Amendment and the hateful George Allen.

And with that, as always, I leave you with the immortal words of Stephen Colbert from November 2002. Good luck, everyone.

Well, Jon, The great jousting tournament that is Election Day draws nigh, the prize the building you see behind me, Castle Congress. But what side shall prevail in this epic electoral tilt? Who shall control the future of Fortress America? Will we be, as the Republicans desire, a nation of wealthy heavily armed white men, befouling the air and water in a ceaseless quest for profits, beholden to no laws but those of our lord and savior Jesus Christ? Or shall we instead embrace the Democrats� vision of a namby-pamby quasi-Socialist Republic with an all-homosexual army flamboyantly defending a citizenry suckling at the foul teat of government welfare? The choice is yours, fair maiden America, for the name of this feudal system... is democracy.
Posted by August J. Pollak at 12:10 AM

November 6, 2006

"Hail Mary 2006"

Latest comic - click here!

The last 48 hours before Election Night are always nerve-racking and tense, but at the same time they're also the most amusing. This is the magical period when all the pundits and bloggers go over the transcripts of what they've said in the last two years and realize that, by any recognizable standard of probability, they're going to be completely wrong about everything they said. Likewise, certain candidates of the, shall we say, screwed variety are starting to realize they need to come up with some kind of last-ditch attempt to lose by less than ten points.

The second panel is probably my favorite only because it's the most true-to-life of all of them. Our beloved Ann Coulter was on the teevee jsut the other day explaining how Democrats won't really win the election unless they take over the Senate and at least 60 House seats. This is because Ann Coulter is a horrible, horrible liar.

I participated in an election pool, but I'm not one to make significant bets on things that I find of actual relevance to the world as a whole. I tend not to find the potential liklihood of a Supreme Court that will outlaw abortion something you parlay $20 on. However, while I might make a random prediction sometime later, I'll state the following predictions right now: on election night, Katherine Harris and Rick Santorum will both lose, and when delivering their concession speeches, both will cry.

Now buy some crap.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 12:09 AM