January 7, 2006

I swear to god I really am a 24-year-old male

I forgot to mention this before I left for the holidays, but as the animation industry goes, it's more than noteworthy to mention the unprecedented news that Disney changed its mind and renewed Kim Possible for a fourth season.

You may remember I touched on the series ending earlier in the year. If you rememebr that, or you're "in the know" with the way Disney organizes its programming, you'd understand how huge a thing like this is. Disney has renewed a show past 65 episodes... never. Sometimes there were extra specials or something like that; this is for a full, 22-episode season. That has never happened before.

And I think, aside of course from the show being spectacular, it's because people just like to watch animation over and over again. I've never watched a sitcom where I want the season DVDs, yet I want every Adult Swim show DVD on my shelf. I got the Sealab 2021 season 2 DVD for Christmas and I've watched it twice already. Call me overly optimistic, but I think we might be seeing a rebirth of quality cartoons in America. All we need now is for the Futurama rumors to be true and I might just explode.

As for Kim Possible, I'll repeat what I said before: I'm the lowest authority on parenting, but nevetheless, to every parent of a 12-year-old girl: Disney has blessed you. This is what you should be showing your child.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 12:35 PM

January 6, 2006

Because right-wing college students need to masturbate, too

The Young America Foundation, a right-wing organization devoted to "exposing political correctness on campus" and one of the major groups that fund speaking engagements for conservative speakers on college campuses nationwide, has a new fundraiser up on the home page of their site: full-size glamour posters of Ann Coulter.

Words fail me, save for the apologies to any of you kids out there who have a YAFer for a roommate.

Side note: note the bottom right corner of the screenshot as well. "Host a black conservative?" Jesus, guys. "Now available in black" is what you say for the new iPod.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 11:26 AM

January 5, 2006

Queen Bee and King Con

Over at Campus Progress a deep, insightful look is taken at the striking relationship between Jack Abramoff and Lil' Kim.

No, really.

Lil Kim aficionados will note the eerie similarity between the Abramoff-Scanlon nexus of money and power and the similar �self-dealing� described in Lil Kim�s track, �Thug Love,� featuring the rap artist Twista. While Lil Kim and Twista only went on a fictional crime spree, Abramoff now owes $26.7 million in fines to the IRS and restitution to the Indian tribes he defrauded. And so we ask: Does Jack Abramoff play Lil Kim on his iPod?
You know for a fact that you want to read the whole thing.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 10:17 PM

January 3, 2006

Darwin: the shirt

Via Feministe, there's a post up from Shakespeare's Sister about one of the many, many stupid/clever/stupid-trying-to-be-clever online T-shirt stores:

Some of their other sportswear showcases slogans like "Pull My Hair," "Stop Rape. Say Yes," "Let's Fuck! Not You, Fat Girl," "Those Fake Tits Really Bring Out Your Eyes," "Fuck me if I'm wrong, but I think you want to blow me," "No means eat me out first," and "Sorority Row sperm donor."
I have a conflicting, but sincere, opinion about these shirts. First off, there's no argument that they're offensive and horrible. However, they also show to me a healthy indicator of two very valuable resources in modern society: the First Amendment and Natural Selection.

Are companies allowed to make money off of slogans like the ones mentioned above? Yes. They're horrible, and offensive, but even though they teeter mercilessly on the edge, they're not outright illegal. They don't actually say "rape is good" or promote something illegal.

And yet, they still serve a purpose. The twenty bucks that a guy spends on this shirt is twenty he won't spend on alcohol in which to drink and harrass women in a stupor. It's twenty bucks he won't spend on gas to drive to a frat party where he will imagine he might grope the boobies that he knows are due to him upon the donning of such a prestigious garment. But most important, his lineage shall end. Please, by all means, show me evidence of anyone getting laid while wearing a shirt that reads "Sorority Row sperm donor."

You know what? Hell with that. Show me a guy who actually has the balls to buy this at a store. You think Moron McFratboy is really going to walk up to that hot-but-will-never-admit-it questionably-legal girl manning the register at Hot Topic with a shirt that might as well say "I don't care about women whatsoever except for whether or not they'll go down on me?" This wouldn't exist without the anonymous impulse purchasing of the internet. Women can sense lack of confidence a mile away (as someone with no self-confidence in the real world who compensates by feigning tons of it online, trust me) so why a guy would buy a beacon for his personal emotional failures astounds me.

Yeah, there are outliers as with all proofs of Darwin's Theory, and one or two of these guys will get lucky and/or inseminate a drunk passed-out girl at a party and have a father who can get them a lawyer to keep their asses out of jail and avoid a paternity suit. But in the long run, these shirts are highly useful for rooting out assholes. It's not just that it won't get them laid, it actually points out to women which potential suitor is worthless or not. All hail the "Sorority Row sperm donor" T-shirt: the official uniform of cowardly misogynist losers everywhere!

Posted by August J. Pollak at 3:41 PM

SimBloomberg

Quality coverage of the New York transit strike was inarguably Steve Gilliard country, but Sisyphus Shrugged has a good post that threw in another point not often mentioned:

Mike Bloomberg shut down the city. Mike Bloomberg shut down the city because it would put him in a better position in future contract negotiations, and Mike Bloomberg shut down the city because he doesn't much like unions (unless, of course, he's looking for their endorsement, as he was in the far less contentious DC 37 negotiations before the election. DC 37 did very nicely. Bloomberg got his endorsement).

If Roger Toussaint hadn't been a very, very smart man (and if Bloomberg had been able to control his temper) the strike would probably still be on, because our mayor doesn't give a rat's ass about the convenience of this city's citizens or our lost wages. If he did, he wouldn't have brought the Republican Convention here. He wanted a strike so he could cripple New York's most powerful union and then he blew it.

Even when I was still in New York I never understood exactly what Mike Bloomberg wants out of being Mayor. He hasn't seemed to do much that would pad his bank account once he leaves office: the failed stadium deal, the Republican Convention, and now the strike cost the city and numerous companies he likely owns stock in a great deal.

So it was interesting to see someone else notice that Bloomberg seems to be running the city- into the ground, that is- as if he's playing SimCity. Bloomberg had the money to buy Gracie Mansion, and it appears he thought the price tag included the ability to single-handedly control the very infrastructure of New York. There are certainly positive things Bloomberg has orchestrated during his tenure as Mayor, but they are all connected to his personal whims, as if the smoking ban was one of the "yes/no" popups that come during gameplay. And ultimately, there's no endgame here- Bloomberg will never "win" the game.

The only thing we have going for ourselves is that while Bloomberg will eventually get bored with playing Mayor of New York, he won't be able to activate an earthquake to destroy the city before he quits "just to see what it looks like." (Though if you read the Post, the strike was just as bad)

Posted by August J. Pollak at 10:34 AM

January 2, 2006

Game of Four

Hi, everyone. I'm back. Way too much to catch up on, but I discovered that Tom tapped me for the Game of Four meme. Seems like a good way to ease back into the grind.

Four jobs you�ve had in your life: Office lackey, student teaching assistant, Legislative Assistant for the New Jersey State Assembly, Webmaster of CampusProgress.org.

Four movies you could watch over and over: The Royal Tenenbaums; The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly; Kill Bill: Vol. 1; L.A. Story.

Four places you�ve lived: Teaneck, NJ; New York City, NY; Alexandria, VA; Arlington, VA.

Four TV shows you love to watch: The Daily Show; Mythbusters; The Venture Bros.; Fullmetal Alchemist.

Four places you�ve been on vacation: Martha's Vineyard, MA; Montreal, Canada; Las Vegas, NV; Scandinavia.

Four websites you visit daily: Other than the usual suspects? CampusProgress.org; MetaFilter; All Things Christie; Stuff on My Cat.

Four of your favorite foods: Gray's Papaya hot dogs; burgers, preferably from In-N-Out or Five Guys; chicken parm heros; anything made by my mom.

Four places you�d rather be: Montreal, Canada; New York City, NY; Atlanta, GA; Washington, DC but with more money.

Four albums you can�t live without: Warren Zevon, Genius; Dropkick Murphys, Blackout; Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band, Live 1975-1985; David Cross, Shut Up You Fucking Baby.

Next four tagged: Jeez. Honestly, almost everyone I thought of have been tagged already. Chris Conroy, Christie St. Martin, S.Z. Zoll, Stephen Notely - your asses be tapped, yo.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 10:35 AM