December 2, 2005

Oh. My. God. Pt. 2

This could be the funniest thing I've ever heard:

Former Creed lead singer Scott Stapp and members of the band 311 were involved in a fight on Thanksgiving in the lounge of a luxury hotel, according to hotel security staff and 311 members.

311 were in Baltimore for a weekend concert when several members ran into Stapp earlier that day, band drummer Chad Sexton told The Associated Press. Both Stapp and 311 have the same producer, and Sexton said there were no problems during the first meeting.

But Stapp later came into the Harbor Court Hotel bar while Sexton and bandmates SA Martinez and P-Nut were watching basketball on television. He stepped in front of the screen and said, "311, I am ready to fight," according to Sexton.

Sexton said the band tried to defuse the situation, and Stapp went to the bar to drink. Later, he made "inappropriate" comments to Martinez's wife, and was confrontational with Sexton.

"All of a sudden, he clocked me in the left side of my face," Sexton said. "Then a huge fight broke out."

During the melee, Martinez broke a finger and later went to the hospital to have a cast put on his hand. Security guards eventually broke up the brawl. Police were called, but no arrests were made, according to hotel security.

"It was an unfortunate incident," Sexton said. "We are not brawlers."

311, I am ready to fight. Ho-lee shit.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 9:21 AM

December 1, 2005

Oh. My. God.

This could be the greatest thing ever painted, ever. And I've seen Bea Arthur wrestling a velociraptor.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 4:40 PM

November 30, 2005

GOD DAMN IT

Goddamit, Panda. STOP IT.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 10:17 PM

November 29, 2005

Talking with Daschle

Campus Progress is going to be webcasting live a town hall forum tomorrow night with Tom Daschle and James Lee Witt- you might remember him as the guy who in charge of FEMA who wasn't criminally incompetent.

What's cool about the webcast is that in addition to watching it live, which I hope you all do, you can submit questions live to Daschle and Witt about Katrina, disaster aid, etc. Actually, we've been gathering questions all week, and you can shoot an e-mail to townhall@campusprogress.org right now to get a head start.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 6:30 PM

November 28, 2005

And to think, all these years all we had to do was put up a giant statue of Bruce Lee

Via Louisa, yet another shining example of a statement you would never, in your wildest dreams, imagine anyone would say out loud:

"This does not mean that Bruce Lee will unite us, because people are different and cannot be united and we will always be Muslims, Serbs or Croats," Gatalo said. "But one thing we all have in common is Bruce Lee."
So spoke Veselin Gatalo of the town of Mostar in Bosnia, explaining how a giant statue of Bruce Lee has healed generations of ethnic strife in a region of the world that has absolutely nothing to do with Chinese people in any way whatsoever.

I'm guessing this is a "Germans love David Hasselhoff" thing.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 10:47 PM

Newest comic - "The Turkey Network"

The only time I watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is when I'm watching Miracle on 34th Street. That's pretty much the last time it was actually something noble and family-related. Color me curmudgeonly, but a three-hour parade with more corporate sponsorship plastered across it than every car in the Indy 500 combined tends to strip any sense of American nostalgia from the cockles of my merry heart.

Okay, I also used to watch it to see if a balloon would go astray and take out some people, but as the strip notes apparently when that happens, bringing the only moment of unscripted levity to the entire travesty, they censor it. I complained about this before I drew the cartoon and someone actually claimed that NBC cut away in the interest of "not scaring children." Right, because it's children, and not the M&M Mars Corporation, who paid more than the gross domestic product of Gabon to make sure a giant inflatable chocolate chip was loved and recognized by five-year-olds.

There's an Ask Jeeves balloon. Parents let their children watch this.

While I'm here, I want to reflect on the sheer quantity of XQUZYPHYR & Overboard cartoons kicking it old school on the archive page. I'm amazed that after six years there's actually an ongoing weekly schedule that the strip has, for the entire year, mostly kept to unadulterated. It's almost as if I'm handling this responsibily. Some traditions were just meant to be broken.

However, some were not meant to, so we proceed with as close to a press release as possible. Long-time readers may know what's coming, their desire for time frames of year-end revelry maddening in their desirability. Your advanced schedule for the remainder of 2005: there will be two more comics, one and two weeks from today as is the custom. After that, steel shutters will slam down across the doors and windows. Horrid pale smoke will begin to emerge from smokestacks, and the insanity-inducing cacophony that is the dual sounds of maniacal laughter and tortured screams will eminate, albeit muffled, from the production floor. And for those who dare to come within the guarded five-mile radius of the disaster site to investigate, they will know, first hand, that The Christmas Comic has again begun to stir in the feverish hands of the regular murderous workmen. It's good to know I'm level-headed about all of this.

Now buy some crap.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 12:01 AM

November 27, 2005

...

RIP, Mr. Miyagi.
Posted by August J. Pollak at 1:45 AM