October 13, 2005

Died Tragically Rescuing His Family From The Remains Of A Destroyed Sinking Battleship

Real obituary in the Chicago Tribune:

Theodore Roosevelt Heller, 88, loving father of Charles (Joann) Heller; dear brother of the late Sonya (the late Jack) Steinberg. Ted was discharged from the U.S. Army during WWII due to service related injuries, and then forced his way back into the Illinois National Guard insisting no one tells him when to serve his country. Graveside services Tuesday 11 a.m. at Waldheim Jewish Cemetery (Ziditshover section), 1700 S. Harlem Ave., Chicago. In lieu of flowers, please send acerbic letters to Republicans.
Hell of a grave, Richie. Wish it were mine.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 9:45 AM

Black people don't care about George Bush

Bush has a 2% approval rating among black Americans.

Two percent. Jesus.

Here's what's really interesting- the poll noted by NBC has a 3.4 percent margin of error. That means from a statistical level, it's a theoretical possibility that with the possible exception of Condoleeza Rice and Michael Steele, not a single black person in the United States of America approves of George W. Bush.

Again: Jesus.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 9:24 AM

October 12, 2005

Be a crony, win fabulous prizes

Please indulge yourself in Campus Progress' latest contest.

What do Harriet Miers and President Bush tell each other in private? What did Bush and Mike Brown talk about to get him appointed to the head of FEMA? What sports team do you chat up the Commander-in-Chief about in order to make him think you�re the perfect fit for Ambassador to Canada?

We have no idea. So we want you to just make something up for us.

Our latest contest asks for your best depiction of an exchange between President Bush and one of his favorite cronies.

Go have fun.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 11:13 PM

October 11, 2005

Blowing up Smurfs

Seriously. Blowing up Smurfs.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 5:37 PM

Happy Anniversary

With little to no fanfare, this weekend marked four years since the United States bombed and invaded Afghanistan.

To mark the occasion and do what the government isn't - by that I mean actually discussing why we're still there, when we can and should leave, and what we've done by going there, Campus Progress is having a live chat at 5:00 PM EST today with Dr. Nazif Shahrani, a Professor of Anthropology, Central Asian and Middle Eastern Studies at Indiana University (IU) at Bloomington, and Caroline Wadhams, National Security Senior Policy Analyst at the Center for American Progress.

So basically you can talk to both a well-knowledged authority on National Security and a well-knowledged authority on the Middle East at the same time. Personally, I wouldn't miss it for the world, and that's not just because I'm running the chat room. See you there.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 11:37 AM

October 10, 2005

Newest comic - "Nobel vs. Some Guy With a Website"

Okay, seriously, we get it. Every year it turns out this little-known organization of fanatic anti-Bush (they've been planning this for a hundred years, you know) Europeans gets together and gives an award for dedication to ideas that (gasp) are contrary to Bush's visions of war all over the damn place.

Ever since they started making cute names for writing on a website there have been self-honored pundits announcing that, from their perch of imagined authority, the Nobel committee is an irrelevant body. That they all have to know no one is listening to them keeps me warm at night, imagining them contemplating with tears in their eyes how much nicer the Nobel people's plaques are.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 12:31 AM