September 30, 2005

And God spoke

Bill Watterson on webcomics:

Q: Many young cartoonists are using the Internet to display their work instead of, or in concert with, print media because there are few barriers to entry and the medium provides the freedom to experiment with form, content, and color. Given your concerns over the state of newspaper comics, what do you think of this development?

A: To be honest, I don't keep up with this. The Internet may well provide a new outlet for cartoonists, but I imagine it's very hard to stand out from the sea of garbage, attract a large audience, or make money. Newspapers are still the major leagues for comic strips . . . but I wouldn't care to bet how long they'll stay that way.

That's... umm... pretty good for someone who doesn't keep up with this. Okay, it's actually the best analysis of the entire industry. Okay, it's actually perfect.

Oh, screw it. I heard if you actually examine the molecules in Bill Watterson's biomass, they form a perfect geometric array.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 9:49 AM

I'm a bigot you eeediotttt!

Looks like Governor Gropenfuhrer decided the blanket coverage of John Roberts and his own state being on fire again provided a perfect time to veto the gay marriage bill when no one was looking.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 9:05 AM

September 29, 2005

They left out the one for Adam Clymer

Please enjoy the complete list of nicknames George W. Bush has given people. Seeing them all together is... somewhat disturbing.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 9:48 AM

September 28, 2005

HOLY SHIT

Tom DeLay has been indicted.

Details will be coming, I'm sure, but for now, the immediate impact- by the House GOP's own rules (which they tried to change) DeLay is done as House Majority Leader.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 12:39 PM

September 27, 2005

But a fake one is just as good!

The whole gimmick of a fake-real website isn't exactly new, but the faux-blog ABC has set up for their new Commander in Chief show just makes me want to hit someone.

First of all, the entire marketing angle of the show pisses me off. For the last two months ABC has been promoting the show with these dynamic giant posters on buses and signs that just have a faded graphic of the White House with the powerful slogan "THIS FALL A WOMAN WILL BE PRESIDENT" blasting out at you. When I first saw them, I thought that's a great thing, until I realized that this fall, a woman won't actually be President, a woman will be cast as the President in a fucking TV show. So in other words they're putting up these signs as if to indicate how amazing and shocking the idea that a female in the White House would be that it merits a "what if" style television program.

A (gasp!) woman in the White House, you say? What's next from those daring writers at ABC? I can't wait for the posters- "THIS FALL, A WOMAN WILL DO COMPLEX MATH PROBLEMS." "THIS FALL, AN IMMIGRANT WILL TEACH HIGH SCHOOL." "THIS FALL, A NEGRO WILL DATE YOUR DAUGHTER." The crazy, unbelievable possibilities are endless!

And as the reviews of the show indicate, it's not even about a woman being elected President. Geena Davis plays a Vice-President who suddenly becomes Commander-in-Chief after the clearly more qualified (and penis-equipped) Prez dies. For some reason, I'm reminded of when they had to have Kirk be under mind control when he kissed Uhura.

As coyly suggested by the fake site's fake blog posts, the show is going to focus on Geena Davis being a President who's a woman, a mother who's a woman, a woman, a woman who's President, and a woman who's a woman. A special episode about how tough it is that she's a woman is also in the works, with an as yet unnamed actress to play a woman who's having a tough time being a woman. Other subjects will be how horrible Geena's husband must feel, as he's demoted from the VP's chief of staff to "first husband" and of course even the admiration for the love of his life being the Leader of the Free World isn't worth the shame of not being able to organize meetings any more. The recurring theme of how awful it is to be a man who doesn't dominate his wife in every aspect of life will be teamed with the element of Davis' character also being inexperienced, having only been tapped for VP for Former President Hasacock to secure the female vote (after all, when a woman runs for office she activates the secret signal that makes all humans with a vagina vote for her.)

You know what would be great, ABC? How about you wait a year and then you can devote television viewing time to the ACTUAL REALITY of a woman- possibly two- running for President? Then maybe they can have The Note write reality-based blog posts like the fake one you put up on your non-blog:

At last, we have a woman President! Hooray! I never thought it would happen in my lifetime. It�s so sad that it happened under these circumstances.
You know what? I agree. With about a year to go before admittedly strong-minded, authoritative women start their paths to the White House, ABC will start running a series showing how a woman President will be an inexperienced naive girl who's ruining her husband's life. Hoo-fucking-ray.

Excuse me, I have to rinse the regurge from my mouth now.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 4:49 PM

September 26, 2005

Buy some crap

The new book is now available for purchase. If you'll scroll down, you'll also notice I've created the Package of Awesomeness offer for diehard reader that just wants to buy everything. The package will remain available as long as all items are available, which may not be for long- checking the stock I see that there's actually less than a dozen R.C. pins left. What can I say, you folks love kitties. Kitties and Hitler.

The CafePress stores remain open as well, and hopefully within the next few days or so I'll have something about ordering prints set up.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 11:09 PM

Newest comic - "Pork Pounders"

Special note: despite it wreaking havoc on accidental Google porn queries, I assure you that despite the title today's installment is safe for work. Or at least no less safe than any other cartoon I've done.

And thus begins and ends the most complicated "webloggers are wankers" joke of all time. Though I did enjoy drawing an entire strip of a guy with a pig ties to his head. The entire adventure embarked upon by the usual plucky rag-tag band of Guys With Websites- well honestly, I can't tell if it's self-righteousness or simple pretentiousness this time. My only question is if they actually had to turn in the "official typography inspector" fun club decoder ring before getting the "official economist" one. Spontenous authority of particular subjects in political debate are kind of like the NetFlix of douchebags, I guess.

Anyway, SPX. I want to start with the things I found fascinating over the course of the weekend: first of all, Keith Knight can consume nine shots of tequila and, in fact, remain standing. I was there. It's amazing.

I also remain amazed that you guys, the wonderful people who came out to see me, continue to specifically request drawings of the Ghost of Adolf Hitler. I've got to be the only left-wing cartoonist whose most common request from fans is "more Hitler." I guess this means I'm going to have to find something to do with him in the near future.

Next order of business: sometime this week when I get the time to configure PayPal buttons the new book will be available for sale. I'll probably set up a discount offer to get both books and the pins at once or something. Also, I owed Mikhaela Reid a signed print so I made one to give her at SPX. Turns out my printer makes rather nice prints, so I think I'm going to start selling those in the immediate future on the site as well.

And now I'm going to make a mind-boggingly amazing segue. So I'm sitting in this little buffet room at the Holiday Inn in Bethesda that the SPX people set up for the exhibitors on Saturday morning and Harvey Pekar decides to sit down and have breakfast with me.

I'd love it if there was some utterly amazing chain of events to talk about that followed, but nothing super-major. We just had a very nice conversation- Harvey opened by explaining that he really liked SPX because "there weren't any people walking around dressed as Batman." I can understand that. What was more entertaining, and definitely more inspiring, is that Harvey sounded a lot like, well, me. Or to be less pretentious, a lot like most young cartoonists at the show. Here's a guy who was invited as the guest of honor for the show, got a standing ovation at the Ignatz awards ceremony, and is saying the same junk I 've been saying all weekend- there's so many talented people around here, I wish I could find a way to get picked up in a few more places, and so forth. He talked about American Splendor as a "great opportunity" for him the way I've been talking to friends about the Attitude book. How awesome is it that the guy is basically a legend with over 30 years of experience behind him and he's chatting about trying to be successful. Give me that over some guys charging $20 for an autograph any day.

Harvey also was responsible for both the funniest thing I saw all weekend- the end of the show and him walking out with an armful of free copies of work from basially every cartoonist at the show (yeah, including me), and the nicest thing I heard all weekend, which came during our breakfast conversation and I talked to him about my ideas and what I think I need to do to start pushing out the comic a little more and he simply said, sort of bewildered, "well I guess it sounds like you know what you're doing here." You know what, I'll take it.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 12:38 AM