June 17, 2005

OMFG

Via one of our bloggers, I am proud to announce that Campus Progress has officially been discovered as part of THE NETWORK.

The Associate Editor and Webmaster for CampusProgress.org is August J. Pollak, who prior to being hired by CAP "worked as a legislative aide with the New Jersey State Assembly."

The Center for American Progress describes itself as "a nonpartisan educational organization." What emanates from its project Campus progress, however, says nothing good about leaders of the Republican Party and conservatives and not a single word criticizing leaders of the Democratic Party or leftists. Of those paid by CAP to work on Campus progress, Halperin, Hubbard, Senter and Pollak come from explicitly partisan Democratic backgrounds, and all come from the left end of the ideological spectrum.

Man, imagine what he'd have said if he'd seen my personal website.

You know, they tell you the job has perks, but it never feels that way until it happens.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 4:56 PM

Pure Truth

This is, I'm pretty sure, officially the funniest Penny Arcade strip ever.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 9:57 AM

Dammit, I have a job

I knew about Superman is a Dick, which is a treasure trove in itself, but reader Jesse Busen alerts me that there's now an entire site devoted to archiving old comic book covers that make you go "whaaaa?"

I could read this all day if I didn't have to catch a bus in about fifteen minutes. My personal favorite has got to be the WWII "buy war bonds" cover depicting Batman happily unloading a gattling gun.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 7:35 AM

June 16, 2005

Slam book fever!

I'm suprised that Kos' sudden discovery that Andrew Sullivan has no grasp of the English language amazes him. We've already established that Sullivan is a man who created whatever justification for something he personally agrees with out of thin air. Ironically, his latest decision, to give Kos another of his invented "awards" which he named after Michael Moore- reminds me of our earlier adventure with Andy, during which he decided that the very definition of film genres differed on his website for the sole purpose of calling Michael Moore a liar. As is turns out, Sullivan was the liar, by means of being a complete fucking idiot and pretending that no one would notice.

What's really funny about this to me is that Sullivan could have easily just gotten away with the standard "Durbin luvs TeH NAz1S!" babble being tossed around, and instead decided to respond by saying that Kos was still "eligible for his award." You can almost picture him with a picture of Markos as he seals his unflinching victory against him by means of drawing on fake mustaches with a Sharpee.

I stole the title of this post from a Sweet Valley High book, and I still don't look like as big a dork as Andrew Sullivan. That, my friends, takes skill.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 10:59 PM

June 15, 2005

Prison, re-undefined

The pro-incarceration crowd pulled all the stops trying to justify Gitmo today, and Campus Progress was there.

I admit to not following all the intricate details of Guantanamo. In some sense, the reason why- it's been going on so long and the aforementioned details are so goddamn convoluted- is one of the big issues here. But I know enough to understand that of all the conclusions Bush could possibly make about Gitmo, the one he settled on- that yes, we have the right to hold people indefinitely there- is divorced, seperated, and ordered to keep at least 500 yards away from reality with an electronic bracelet attached to reality's ankle.

The chief defense from the "torture them all and let our superior non-Muslim god sort it out" crowd appears to be that these are all very bad men, and therefore it's fine to keep them there. After all, you don't want to release a terrorist, do you?

Which might be a valid argument were it not for the 23 detainees that have been released. (With no condescention intended, did you actually know that? I only discovered this a few weeks ago) Which means the right-wingers, and I know it's going to be tough to spin out of this one, are faced literally with only two choices: we've either consciously released terrorists already, or it's factually proven that some of the people being held there are simply not guilty of whatever crime the army will eventually accuse them of.

This would all be solvable were Guantanamo ever percieved as a place where there would be due process, or even trials. Instead, three years down the line we've been shown the bluff of some fantasy compromise of "tribunals" and are coming face to face with the reality of the White House's ego-bruising cul-de-sac. With the only two choices being the ones I just mentioned above, Bush chooses an option in which he faces neither. All he has to do is leave everyone there because... he says so.

As our own interns noted, as did others judging from the laughter after this moment, the Army can't even keep its bullshit together:

However, the panel seemed to clam up when the tough questions started flying, including such zingers as Leahy asking, �How many people are actually detained at Guantanamo?� Leahy�s attempts at getting an exact figure were thwarted. Brig. Gen. Huntington responded, �that�s outside the scope of my responsibility,� helpfully suggesting, �why don�t you ask the [notoriously secretive] Secretary of Defense?� Similarly, when Leahy asked Huntington if there were any detainees from countries other than Afghanistan, he received the same dead-end response. Which explains why the audience was rather surprised when he quickly summoned up that very precise information while answering a question about possibly deporting detainees to Afghanistan to be tried there since it is a U.S. ally, responding, �We have 47 countries represented at Guantanamo Bay�.� Well, glad we cleared that up.
Yes, just so we're clear, that was a U.S. army brigadier general explaining how he couldn't answer a question about the population of Guantanamo becuase that was out of his scope of information, followed by responding to a question by quoting specifics of the population of Guantanamo.

It's a startling, and as proven at the hearing laughable situation, in which everyone knows we've painted ourselves into a corner and won't admit it.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 11:00 PM

BAD WOLF

BBC decides to try and kill its entire audience with massive simultaneous announcements about Doctor Who designed to make heads 'asplode: screw second, THIRD season now already confirmed. Billie Piper to stay on for entire second season. Graeme Harper, director of the Fitth-Doctor finale episode "The Caves of Androzani" will direct four episodes. Oh, and, that's right, Cybermen.

Pee everywhere. Dearie me, I've done gone piddled all over the place. Wheeeeee!

Posted by August J. Pollak at 9:28 PM

June 14, 2005

Chortle at The Joker's boner

I will openly admit finding this funny because I am a complete and utter dork.

Joker's Boner

Read the entire adventure of Batman vs. the Joker's boners, circa 1951.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 10:30 PM

I prefer to think of them as educated guesses with an emphasis on research pulled from my butt

Bill O'Reilly, as always, not speculating on the outcome of something because he just doesn't do that.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 9:14 AM

June 13, 2005

Newest comic - "Bin Laden: I'd hit it"

Posted by August J. Pollak at 12:00 AM

June 12, 2005

Rick Perry loves the Jesus and Klan sympathizers

Governor Rick Perry decides that seperation of church and state simply doesn't exist in the state of Texas:

Even for Texas, the scene was remarkable: The governor, flanked by an out-of-state televangelist and religious right leaders, signing legislation in a church school gymnasium amid shouts of "amen" from backers who just as well could have been attending a revival.

It wasn't just the blatant blend of church and state that made the gathering in Fort Worth unusual. Advance publicity also attracted about 300 angry protesters � unheard of for the routine business of ceremonial bill signings.

And who joined Perry among the prestigious guests?

Ohio televangelist Rod Parsley and Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council in Washington were among the religious conservatives who shared the stage with Perry at the Fort Worth bill signing. Parsley linked homosexuality and disease rates, and about 1,000 supporters cheered attacks on "activist judges" and the media.
Yes, that would be Tony "I gave $80,000 to the Klan" Perkins. Praise the Lord and pass the barf bucket.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 6:50 PM