August 29, 2003

Oops. Excuse me.

It took seven hours. Not three.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 8:46 PM

Tech support?

Got a HTML/Flash question for ya guys.

Some of you may have noticed the images on the right side of the site. And yes, some of you may have found some hidden goodies therein.

How it works is that there's a Flash file there which, using a randomizing script, loads one of several possible screens on the right. In other words, that "this is the home of..." image is actually a seperate Flash file loaded within the main flash file.

This works great in the main blog and some of the pages, but because the loading code is an HTML tag inside the Flash script, it doesn't alter for submenus. In other words, the flash file loads from "../flash/" if it's in "" or "". As such, the latter case doesn't load the file because the URL references are different.

I "fixed" this with the left menu by making two: one for pages in the main directory, and one for pages in any subdirectories which loads pages with a "../" before the local reference instead of just the local reference. The downside of this, of course, is that every visitor to the page has to load two flash files for the menu instead of one. I would really prefer not to have to do that for multiple side images and animations.

Is there an HTML tag that is universal for both menus and submenu references? Or is there a way to make Flash fix its own links a la Dreamweaver templates? Let me know if you have a clue what I'm talking about.
'Cuz I sure don't.

Update: Actually, got an easier one for you all too, I hope... anyone know how to break apart text without Flash filling in all the "holes" in letters (like A, Q, R, etc.)?

Posted by August J. Pollak at 2:12 PM

Crap crappity crap crap crap.

As Kos and others have mentioned already, a car bomb blew up in Iraq today, killing 75 people including Mohammed Baqir al-Hakim, one of the prominent Shiite Muslim religious leaders with Iranian backing.

And, of course, the fact that I just used the words "Iranian," "Shiite Muslim," and "religious leader" in a sentence containing the phrase "killed in a car bomb explosion" should tip you off that this is going to be very, very bad.

For one thing, this is a region of the world that easily convinces itself whatever it wants to hear: regardless of the blame being placed (likely correctly) on Saddam loyalists, I'll give the Iranain fundamentalists until... let's say... oh, about three hours from now until they decide to claim that this was the fault of the United States and their hatred of the Islamic people's revolution for a new Iraq.

Saddam Hussein was a secular leader, and as such opposed by the hardline fundamentalist Muslim leaders of neighboring countries. al-Hakim was a representative of the drive to bring Shiite Islamic rule back into Iraq now that Saddam was deposed. It won't take too long for the blame to shift to Chalabi, America's hand-picked new ruler for Iraq. Which means now we've got Saddam loyalists, Iranian fundamentalists, and Islamic terrorists all approaching the idea that it'll be easy enough to just blame the United States... or rather United States soldiers, for all of this.

We made a really good call destabilizing the Middle East. Yup.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 1:21 PM

I wish I was Madonna.

Let's not dissect that. You know what I'm talking about.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 12:57 PM

August 28, 2003


Oliver Willis either A. thinks today is BlogaThon or B. just did some really good coke, because he's made about thirty-seven posts in one day. Frankly, I'm trying to do some work now (translated: reading Al Franken) and there's no way I'm gonna beat that so just go read him if you have a few hours to kill.

Oh, and welcome back to New York, Chris. And for God's sake, you can ask someone else for a boxcutter. Christ.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 9:45 PM

August 27, 2003

My spoon is too big.

Going to this.

You should be too.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 11:43 PM

August 26, 2003


Before I forget: a special public get-well mention to Keith Knight, who just had surgery on a torn Achilles' Tendon. There are very few things on the human body that I imagine don't hurt like all hell when they actually tear, so seriously- get well soon, Keef. If your next strip looks like a Cubist painting we'll understand it's the painkillers.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 11:01 PM

Yes. They call this Democracy.

The Texas Legislature adjourned its second special session of the year Tuesday without passing a congressional redistricting bill, nearly a month after Senate Democrats broke a quorum by fleeing to New Mexico to block the measure.

Republican Gov. Rick Perry said he would call yet another special session to try to get approval for new congressional boundaries.

"When I call that session is strictly up to me, and I'll give the appropriate notice on the appropriate day," Perry said.

Which, as we all can place money on, means the special session will be called within minutes of its beginning, the state troops at the doors of the Democrats who returned home by that time.

There's an old quote about the definition of insanity as doing the same thing repeatedly expecting different results. Apparently, Rick Perry is doing his best to make that the definition of Facism as well.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 10:36 PM

Kelly Day!

Mark Evanier notes that yesterday would have been the 90th birthday of Walt Kelly, otherwise known as the Greatest Cartoonist Who Ever Walked the Face of the Earth.

On a side note, I'd been making it a point to mention my discovery of Mark Evanier as a blogger a few weeks ago, which thrilled me beyond belief. For one thing, he's really good at it. For another, he's responsible for Garfield and Friends and Groo, the respective watching/reading material that encompassed 80% or so of my total media content from the ages of seven to ten.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 11:41 AM

August 25, 2003

Ahh, America.

From Salon's letters page:

Only when liberals champion the entire Bill of Rights, including the Second Amendment as the means of the people to defend the First Amendment, will they be taken seriously as champions of freedom and dominate the next election.

Everyone wants to convince people in the red states why they are stupid for supporting the Republican Party, but if they believe in the Second Amendment, they have no choice. Try giving them one.


You know those scenes in medical dramas where the doctors are trying so hard to save the patient and they keep saying to themselves "I can do this, I can save this person! He's not gone yet!" and then after all their effort they finally let 'em go and just realize that this one can't be saved- there's just no way, no power on earth, that can change the condition this person is in? I know how those doctors must feel now.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 9:25 PM

Well, duh

Fox has dropped the Franken lawsuit. The Fair and Balanced Project is complete:

"It's time to return Al Franken to the obscurity that he's normally accustomed to," Fox News spokeswoman Irena Steffen said.
Oh, I see. That's what you were aiming for with a massive frivolous lawsuit.

Next week: Fox News spokeswoman Irena Steffen ordered by bully to give up her lunch money. Steffen to explain "Ha ha, I wasn't hungry anyway" and stick out tongue.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 8:53 PM

August 24, 2003

Ungodly stream of expletives

Apologies if there's a delay in posting, as I had a wonderful experience in the city this evening running over a can of white latex paint with the left side of my car. Which, just for reference's sake, is green.

I'm sure the people at Pep Boys will, after laughing their asses off just like my shit-for-brains friends did, explain all the wonderful things I can buy from them to remove latex paint from the side of a car, but if this has happened to anyone who can give a pointer or two before I do something really stupid to are more than welcome to contribute. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find more members of my family to verbally take this out on for no reason.

Update: Thanks to all who offered sympathy and more importantly advice. Sadly, it appears I'm at the end of options for now, as high-pressure water hoses, various chemical thingies, and plastic scrapers have all failed at their mission. Since several hundred dollars at a body shop isn't an option, it appears I'll have to hold out and hope that my car's siding, being a non-porous surface, isn't meant for latex paint and it'll eventually just come off naturally in time.

On the plus side, this will save me a lot of wear and tear on the car, because I decided I'm never fucking driving my friends into the city just so they can find a place that serves cheap beer again. Sucks for them.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 4:55 AM