August 16, 2003

Unbearably long string of expletives goes here

So I wrote that last post, went back to sleep, and woke up a few hours later to find out the goddamn power went back off again.

The problem with there being no light in your house whatsoever is that you can't even draw shit on a piece of paper with pencils correctly, let along work on anything on the computer. So, PSE&G taking it upon themselves to finally decide Teaneck, NJ was worthy of having electricity again about a half hour ago, I just realized I spent just about twenty-four hours accomplishing absolutely nothing except sitting around being furious at PSE&G. Oh, the whole "bathing in pools of my own sweat from the lack of air conditioning and cold beverages" thing was pure bliss as well.

I have a bunch of e-mails to go through and more work to take care of for next week that I can discuss here, so please forgive the likely sporadic posting for the next few days.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 1:58 AM

August 15, 2003

Those fucking Amish terrorist bastards

Yeah. Well. Umm.... yeah.

That certainly sucked.

I'm trying to keep this short because my computer is, judging by the sound of its fans, the Kaiser Mk. III, the finest in Soviet Cold-War industrial machinery. The sheer nature of it being turned on right now means the F train isn't running, so for the sake of several others I'm turning it off again when I'm done here.

Apologies to everyone for the fact that there won't be much posting for a while, nor any of the cool updates I was planning on doing yesterday afternoon to prepare for this morning's global Bill O'Reilly mockery, but contrary to my original goal of coming home, microwaving a TV dinner, watching some TV, recharging batteries, using an electric hair dryer, and running all the air conditioners in my house all at once while screaming "man is the lord god of nature! None can stop our raping of pure energy from the earth!" like I do every day, instead lighting struck a power station in Canada or something and destroyed all power supplies on the Eastern goddamned seaboard.

As the Iceberg said to the Titanic, "well shit!"

I have to go now because technically in about two or three hours I need to find out if I'm capable of coming in to work or not, plus the fact that any more discussion about this when I'm awake at four in the morning will likely spin off into a longer stream of expletives then I've already given here.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 3:57 AM

August 14, 2003

Bucket of cold water, order up

Ted Rall rips the aura of Howard Dean's "liberalism" a new one.

I really like Dean, but Rall's the first person I've read who actually addressed the most plausible worry about the Dean campaign: that he's going to morph into Bill Clinton right after the primaries.

Now, this can be taken any way you like: Clinton won two elections and held high approval ratings. But anything he did following his first 100 days or so that you could remotely consider "appeasing the left wing" lies solely in the fantasies of right-wing lunatics who believe him and Hillary are Satan's left and right testicles.

No, I'm not saying it doesn't matter if a Democrat wins or not, so exhale and back away from the keyboard. All I'm saying is, like Clinton, don't be all suprised when Howrad Dean fails to be the guiding light of the Left that he was shaped to be by... well, by Republicans.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 7:54 AM

August 13, 2003


No need to do intensive searches or anything, since I'll do that this weekend if I come up with nothing by then, but if any of you out there are readily aware of a place to get a free font with college-style football/sports team lettering, let me know.

You know, something that looks like it would be used by a school in Fayetteville, Arkansas. I've decided that if there is a Hell I'm going there anyway so I might as well sell t-shirts.

Update: Mission seemingly accomplished. Thanks, all.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 11:27 PM

'Ello, British-type peoples

The only thing more unique for me today than the fact that people were apparently reading the site was when I discovered a significant portion of the readers were coming from the United Kingdom. My site reader geographical stats usually reflect a four-hour wave of U.S.-based readership occuring in each time zone at their respective times of typical office building openings. Which, of course, says a lot.

Anyhoo, it's because I got not one, but two major link-fests from the U.K. today, having caught the attention of Lindsay Marshall and his apparently very popular site, as well as (gasp!) being quoted (with, self-wanking duly noted, a considerably high amount of praise) in The Register, which is equally cool.

Nearer the end of the day my same earlier blogging-rant quotes were noted at this site, which although not English actually addressed me as "cartoonist August Pollak," which frankly even my NYU editors took a few months to do and only after I bribed them.

And, as you might have noticed, I made a flashy Union-Jack title icon up there, which I guess I can use for all the Guardian and likewise stories I get about whats going on in the U.S. since, sadly, it's rather hard to get credible amounts of that from my own country.

So, hello to all the English people. On behalf of America, sorry for the mess.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 9:25 PM


As of 7:45 AM EST, Al Franken's book has gone from below #50 to #1 on the sales list in light of Fox News' lawsuit.

I think that just about covers it.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 7:47 AM

August 12, 2003

Links page update

I've been getting too many hits from Elayne Riggs to not be linking back to her. In addition, I realized I'm silly for not having Kos and fellow MeFite Oliver Willis on the links list either what with me checking their sites about every half hour or so, too.

If there's anyone or anything else you haven't seen yet, then it goes without saying their placement on the links page means they're highly recommended.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 10:58 PM

We are, of course, a collective perfect little bitch.

Persuant to Atrios' idea, you will notice that the title of this weblog is now " - Fair and Balanced."

Oh, while we're at it, a special congrats to Al Franken, as the breaking of the lawsuit story has allowed his book, not even on shelves for another month, to hit #25 on Amazon as of this posting.

Update: As of 2:00 PM EST, it's at #12, seven places ahead of Ann Coulter. Ouch.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 12:00 PM

August 11, 2003

Spike TV: The Novelization

Though you probably got the advance AP link from Atrios (or, ech, Drudge) already, an inside source at the New York Times who identifies himself to me only by his pseudonym of "Dad" has noted that the Tuesday edition will have full details about the Fox News lawsuit against Al Franken. I'll post a link to that as soon as I get it.

Update: And here it is:

Lawyers for Fox who filed the complaint also take issue with Mr. Franken's book cover because it "mimics the look and style" of two books written by Bill O'Reilly, a prominent Fox News personality. Mr. O'Reilly is also pictured on the cover, just beneath the word "Lies."

The court papers refer to Mr. Franken, who is a former "Saturday Night Live" writer and performer, as a "parasite" who hopes to use Fox's reputation to confuse the public and boost sales of his book.

Mr. Franken is also accused of verbally attacking Mr. O'Reilly and other Fox personalities on at least two occasions, and of being "either intoxicated or deranged" as he flew into a rage at a press correspondents' dinner in April 2003. Mr. Franken has not filed a response in court to the suit.

You know, I agree with Atrios. I think the appropriate response is a counter-suit for libel. Using accusations of public drunkenness as basis for a copyright injunction? Give me a break.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 11:36 PM

August 10, 2003

George W. Bush is dumb.

I'm sorry, but Humenik just made me laugh my ass off with this one.

Update: early this morning it was reported that we lost another U.S. soldier in Iraq due to heat exhaustion. And, frankly, there's just nothing funny about that at all.

Posted by August J. Pollak at 10:13 PM

Get-rich quick scheme for easy site mentions!

1. Begin calling yourself "Lieutenant Wombat."
2. Be insane.
3. Profit!

Posted by August J. Pollak at 10:01 PM